Thank you, Jessi and Max - from Car

Hi everyone. It’s Car. About 6 days ago, I asked Jessi if I could write the last entry of the blog. Those of you who know me will be not surprised that I have written most of this already in my head --- while in vans and hotel rooms, seeing the sights and waiting in airports, walking quietly with Max and in a crowd of thousands, laughing and talking and crying, as I sit alone and in a big group. To be honest, I have had 3 breakdowns already today knowing that my part of this journey is coming to a close. To think that I can get through this without tears is crazy.

Jessi is my best friend. We’ve known each other for 24 years and I feel incredibly lucky and special to have shared these years and especially this amazing and beautiful experience with her. Blessed. I feel blessed.

I am a mom of 4 and I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t know that I would be a mom. David and I have created a family whom I cherish and love with all that I am.

To love is completely is selfless. And parenting is selfless. Adopting a child is beyond selfless. Aside from the official part of the process, the compassion and interest and unconditional acceptance of a child who comes to you with a history that you will never know completely, and to embrace it and all that follows is selfless.

I told Jessi today that her ease at being with Max from the 1st moment did not surprise me. I know she would be a wonderful, patient, gentle, and loving mother. She is that and so much more. Max is meant for Jessi and Jessi is meant for Max. He belongs to her, and she to him.

These last few weeks have been some of the most intense, emotional, joyful and wonderful of my life. Thank you all for being such an important part of Max’s beginning …

And, Jess, thank you for choosing me to join you in this. The absolute wonder in your eyes each time you look at Max makes me smile with all my heart.

And, as you said to me last week, “Car, I don’t have to give him back.”

No, you don’t. He’s yours to keep.